Here's the deal y'all: I've been a little discouraged, just a tiny smidgen. I know I have no room to be so, seeing that our process has gone sooo much more quickly than normal, and seeing that God's in control. But I'm no good to anybody if I'm dishonest, and I want to remember what this whole thing was really like, so here it is: I've had a little bit of a rough week. Nothing major's happened or anything, just a few paperwork delays and unresolved life things, but since I'm a girl that likes to have all my ducks in a row, a lot of little loose ends can stress me out a little.
Following our home study I felt like I had just worked a night shift and never gone to sleep. I had that "I just ran into a brick wall, and you're gonna have to scrape me off the sidewalk" feeling. I think it's because this whole last month we've been pushing so hard to get paperwork done and completely put the apartment together, that the 4hr culmination of a home study just drained anything I had left. But I had to keep going. Somehow, the rest of the week was one of the busiest, errand-filled weeks I've had since I quit working, and yesterday had a few little surprises and realizations, some of which I'll talk about here and some I won't, that had me ready to just start over with a new day. Here's what it's looked like:
*Have you ever had a day when you just completely put your foot in your mouth all day long, and you just have to keep apologizing? It's like you've lost control, only you know that you really are saying those things, so you wish you weren't saying them, but you never know when the next one's gonna come out, and you'll realize a half second too late what you said, and that you meant it, and that you wish you'd just not. That was yesterday.
*I was photocopying my birth certificate yesterday, because I was about to send a bunch of papers in, and I noticed that my city of birth was misspelled. Whoopsy. I sent it back in to the Passport Vital Records Office with a notice of correction needed, which again is estimated to take 4-8weeks, but we'll see.
*I didn't get my FBI clearance back yesterday, which broke our one-week turn-around streak. No big, there are plenty of families who've been having to wait 13 weeks for theirs. I can't really trow a pity-party on this one, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had my hopes up.
*And finally, I haven't done any serious form of exercise in a month. I've theoretically been saving it on my to-do list for the waiting months, but I think maybe it's time to go ahead and start that process, cause y'all know how you start to feel... :)
Ok, now for a happy thought: I also realized this week that God already knows our baby. How sweet is that!?!?! He already knows who he/she is, He can see them even when we can't, even before anyone can see them cause they're hidden. And He already really knows them. He knows our baby's personality, He knows what he/she looks like, what he/she's gonna love to do in this life, even the foods he/she's gonna refuse to eat!! Soooo... this whole process is gonna go just as fast (or slow) as it needs to go to get us to the right batch of referrals, with the perfect little babe for us. My husband told me that my job for today is to not worry about anything. Ok, I give.
Following our home study I felt like I had just worked a night shift and never gone to sleep. I had that "I just ran into a brick wall, and you're gonna have to scrape me off the sidewalk" feeling. I think it's because this whole last month we've been pushing so hard to get paperwork done and completely put the apartment together, that the 4hr culmination of a home study just drained anything I had left. But I had to keep going. Somehow, the rest of the week was one of the busiest, errand-filled weeks I've had since I quit working, and yesterday had a few little surprises and realizations, some of which I'll talk about here and some I won't, that had me ready to just start over with a new day. Here's what it's looked like:
*Have you ever had a day when you just completely put your foot in your mouth all day long, and you just have to keep apologizing? It's like you've lost control, only you know that you really are saying those things, so you wish you weren't saying them, but you never know when the next one's gonna come out, and you'll realize a half second too late what you said, and that you meant it, and that you wish you'd just not. That was yesterday.
*I was photocopying my birth certificate yesterday, because I was about to send a bunch of papers in, and I noticed that my city of birth was misspelled. Whoopsy. I sent it back in to the Passport Vital Records Office with a notice of correction needed, which again is estimated to take 4-8weeks, but we'll see.
*I didn't get my FBI clearance back yesterday, which broke our one-week turn-around streak. No big, there are plenty of families who've been having to wait 13 weeks for theirs. I can't really trow a pity-party on this one, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had my hopes up.
*And finally, I haven't done any serious form of exercise in a month. I've theoretically been saving it on my to-do list for the waiting months, but I think maybe it's time to go ahead and start that process, cause y'all know how you start to feel... :)
Ok, now for a happy thought: I also realized this week that God already knows our baby. How sweet is that!?!?! He already knows who he/she is, He can see them even when we can't, even before anyone can see them cause they're hidden. And He already really knows them. He knows our baby's personality, He knows what he/she looks like, what he/she's gonna love to do in this life, even the foods he/she's gonna refuse to eat!! Soooo... this whole process is gonna go just as fast (or slow) as it needs to go to get us to the right batch of referrals, with the perfect little babe for us. My husband told me that my job for today is to not worry about anything. Ok, I give.
2 comments:
NO JOKE; as SOON as it gets HOT HOT, we're there!:)
i LOVE YOU!!!! SO ENJOYING Your updates.. i posted it on your FB, but i totally dreamed we (andrew and i) accompanied you to Ethiopia to get your babies (they gave you TWO! a boy and a girl.. :)
SO, as much as i miss you, the pleasure was all mine hanging out in my dreams.. :)
Oh, my heart goes out to you with all of those frustrations piling up- Love you guys so much, and loved the happy thought that you ended on- you are the best!
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