Adopted

(Me and my buddy back in the day. Just met his awesome fiance. Congrats Griggles!!!)

Warmth! I'm so excited about living at the beach here in the next 6 months, mostly because I can be in the warmth of the Sun and be working at the same time. I just spent the other morning putting together a hangout in the basement of a beach house that is bound to see many an epic game of ping pong or Foosball, and lots of naps while watching movies after coming off the beach. This is my job! I befriend teenage folks and do things like this while fighting for their spiritual well-being. So, what does hanging out have to do with the soul?

I've had this conversation with a couple of people lately: what's so important about hanging out? The simple answer is, that through hanging out, people just realize they can be themselves with one another. In the movie "Meet Joe Black" the character Quince describes what Love is to Death. He says it's when his wife knows "the worst thing about me and its okay." Knowing someone at their worst and accepting them in spite of that...sounds like a pretty accurate definition from a human perspective. Letting yourself be loved includes knowing the you that is being accepted. I think of my kid: will they grow into a confusion about who they are? Will it tear them up that they don't know what their birth parents look like? Will they search for fulfillment in where they came from? I think of the dead ends that I have spent time looking for fulfillment in: status, pleasure, comfort, etc. Will they look there as well?

Regardless, there will inevitably come a point, sooner or later, that they will question their identity and feel unable to look to me for an answer. I was raised by my birth parents, know the culture I was born into, and am not from where my kid will be from. But what I will tell them is what binds all of us together: we have all been orphans. Some of us don't know our birth parents. We all know what it's like to not have a spiritual Dad to turn to. Even for those of us who have cried out like children to our loving Father, none of us have yet seen His face. Even with all of us being very different, we are very much the same when it comes to this.
My kid will actually have an advantage. They will see that their adopted dad is their real dad. They will know that their real home is not the place they were born, it is the place they are going. My hope is that they will know, much more than I can, that their Heavenly Father waits for them with the expectation that I do now; expectation that only a real dad could have.

Ephesians 1:4-6 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Favorite food: green bean casserole
Favorite song: Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks
Favorite rapper ever: still Ice Cube

Piesole and other delays

Here's the deal y'all: I've been a little discouraged, just a tiny smidgen. I know I have no room to be so, seeing that our process has gone sooo much more quickly than normal, and seeing that God's in control. But I'm no good to anybody if I'm dishonest, and I want to remember what this whole thing was really like, so here it is: I've had a little bit of a rough week. Nothing major's happened or anything, just a few paperwork delays and unresolved life things, but since I'm a girl that likes to have all my ducks in a row, a lot of little loose ends can stress me out a little.
Following our home study I felt like I had just worked a night shift and never gone to sleep. I had that "I just ran into a brick wall, and you're gonna have to scrape me off the sidewalk" feeling. I think it's because this whole last month we've been pushing so hard to get paperwork done and completely put the apartment together, that the 4hr culmination of a home study just drained anything I had left. But I had to keep going. Somehow, the rest of the week was one of the busiest, errand-filled weeks I've had since I quit working, and yesterday had a few little surprises and realizations, some of which I'll talk about here and some I won't, that had me ready to just start over with a new day. Here's what it's looked like:

*Have you ever had a day when you just completely put your foot in your mouth all day long, and you just have to keep apologizing? It's like you've lost control, only you know that you really are saying those things, so you wish you weren't saying them, but you never know when the next one's gonna come out, and you'll realize a half second too late what you said, and that you meant it, and that you wish you'd just not. That was yesterday.


*I was photocopying my birth certificate yesterday, because I was about to send a bunch of papers in, and I noticed that my city of birth was misspelled. Whoopsy. I sent it back in to the Passport Vital Records Office with a notice of correction needed, which again is estimated to take 4-8weeks, but we'll see.

*I didn't get my FBI clearance back yesterday, which broke our one-week turn-around streak. No big, there are plenty of families who've been having to wait 13 weeks for theirs. I can't really trow a pity-party on this one, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had my hopes up.

*And finally, I haven't done any serious form of exercise in a month. I've theoretically been saving it on my to-do list for the waiting months, but I think maybe it's time to go ahead and start that process, cause y'all know how you start to feel... :)

Ok, now for a happy thought: I also realized this week that God already knows our baby. How sweet is that!?!?! He already knows who he/she is, He can see them even when we can't, even before anyone can see them cause they're hidden. And He already really knows them. He knows our baby's personality, He knows what he/she looks like, what he/she's gonna love to do in this life, even the foods he/she's gonna refuse to eat!! Soooo... this whole process is gonna go just as fast (or slow) as it needs to go to get us to the right batch of referrals, with the perfect little babe for us. My husband told me that my job for today is to not worry about anything. Ok, I give.

Home study: check!

It's done!!! We had our home study this morning at 10:30! Our social worker came from Greenville and we had a great time. All the things I was worried about last night (and I did have just a minor minor break down) were no big deal, everything's great, and a my friend of mine said, we're one step closer to our baby!!!

It's funny, I think I expected to be scrutinized a lot more closely than we actually were. I mean, don't get me wrong, she was thorough and it took a good 4hrs as predicted, but what I didn't expect was that she was a human, and not a drill-sargent, robot, crumb-detector, child-proofing dictator. Quite the opposite in fact, she was totally supportive and nurturing, really out to set us up for success. We had a great day with her!

All that being said, I wanted to post pictures of the last-minute home improvements and details that we put together in preparation for the visit!!! All fun stuff that I'm glad we did, even if some of it was over the top... but really, how often does a girl get to use her fine china?

I got a fern for our front patio. I think it made the apartment look more homey. First impressions, you know.

Our big flowerpot finally found a place to live right outside out front door.

The nursery/office as-is right now. Notice the giant crib-sized space on the right!!! :)

Our couches: the final look!

Pretty little pictures all in a row! Ethiopian landscape on the left, and Italy on the right.

Curtains to hide our DVD player and movies!!!

Setting the mood with daffodils and tulips, cause my sis says they're seasonal.

More flowers. It was fun to pretend like it was no big deal, but inwardly feel so fancy for having flowers around the house!

Aaaaand, the breakfast spread! Thanks friends for the banana bread just in time!

I'm pretty tired this afternoon, but I have a real peace deep down in my soul. I'm not generally one to put words into God's mouth that He didn't say, or claim that I know His intentions, but I sure do appreciate the blessings He's giving us along the way!!! I prayed this morning that our SW would be a Christian, because I wanted to be able to relate to her on that level. Because I felt like that would make a giant difference in her understanding us as a couple. She totally was!!! Not only that, but she'd gone to Young Life when she was a high school student, so she totally understood what my husband's job was about!! I'm so thankful for that, it makes me cry a little as I write this. And guess what else, I got my birth certificate at the end of last week. It took it two and a half weeks to get here. It was supposed to take 4-8 weeks. Praise the Lord, I'm thankful for these blessings as they come.

Are you ready for some cuteness???

Emily:

Graham and I went on a date to Target last night to register for baby stuff!!! It was soooo much fun! And we pretty much agreed on everything as far as what we need/don't need, which is awesome! Last night I was up 'till 2:30 on an accidental caffeine and a not so accidental cute-baby-stuff high, and I wanted to share it with you all. You're welcome!! :)

Cutest bedding EVER!!!

I know I've posted about these before, but HOW CUTE ARE THEY?!?! Graham and I really think we want to TRY cloth diapers, and I found and registered for these on Wishpot.com. They have the sweetest colors, and they snap and grow with your baby! I can't wait!!!

Beautimous Storchenwiege Inka wrap! I found this at Attachedtobaby.com. It's the best website I've found for wraps and things, it's easy to browse and has lots of variety. I can't decide if I want to register for this one or the Leo Natural. What do you guys think? I think I'm leaning toward the Leo. My sister and cousin really had a lot of great things to say about using wraps, so I definitely want to try it, not to mention that I think it might be helpful in the bonding process.

Thanks for sharing my excitement about this! It's just so much fun!!! And happy shopping to all the moms out there!!!

The paperchase: an adoptive parent's labor

Emily:


Today I bought our fire extinguisher, smoke detectors, and some child-proofing stuff for the home study on Monday. I have the rest of today and tomorrow to get everything ready. Namely, make curtain rods for the TV stand, get a box spring for the bed in the nursery, and generally make the nursery less office-y. I feel fairly confident about the rest of the apartment, but this room makes me tired every time I think about it :)

On Tuesday we spent the night in Durham so that we could get our fingerprints done at the USCIS (US center of immigration services) on Wednesday morning. Praise the Lord that the USCIS office was in Durham, and we could just spend the night at Graham's parents' house! I was so excited/nervous about the appointment that I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't sleep. Once we got to the office for our 7am appointment I was so jacked up, and poor Graham was so sleepy, the contrast was laughable! The office didn't open till 8, no big deal, we had a lovely experience overall. It's a running joke amongst adoptive parents that the personnel at these offices are VERY serious, bordering on grumpy. Homeland security is no laughing matter. However, I'd like to report that I made one laugh!!! I was asking him if we were set to leave, and if he needed the form in my hand or if we were done with it. He assured us we were done, but suggested "you may want to keep it for your own records, though." Bless his heart, there was so much concern in his voice, he had no idea who he was dealing with. I assured him "OH, I KEEP!!!" We laughed, it was miraculous.
Today I shipped off:

*Graham's FBI clearance letter (I'm getting my fingerprints redone for the second time tomorrow)
*All of our employer letters/rental income letter
*our family/apartment photos
*2 more reference letters (they're all in!!!)
*and proof that the government received our I-600a petition (to bring an immigrant into the US)

We're getting there! I have to admit I'm a little over it today. I think we're both ready to be done with paperwork and officially "waiting". God has blessed us so much. From an empty parking space in front of the court house downtown with time left on the meter, to getting FBI results back in 1 week instead of 13, to finding pillows that match our couches perfectly for free, to getting physicals and insurance letters (the two things everyone said take the longest) almost as soon as I ask for them, it's seems He's laying this out for us. Praise the Lord!!! I want to give Him all the credit He deserves in front of everybody!

So, all we have left to send in is:

*my FBI clearance
*my birth certificate (waiting for it in the mail)
*our home study and associated documents
*our bank letter/financial statement (waiting on it from the bank)
*and our USCIS approval letter (waiting for it in the mail)

We're so close!!! Yay! Thanks for caring! And a giant THANKS! to everyone who's helped us along the way, given encouragement, written a letter!!! Thanks to our family! Thanks to Lee, Liz, Katey, Sam, Marty, Parks, Dr. Holdsworth, Roland, Christy, Samantha, Shelley, Debra, Susanne, Natalie, Kate, Sandra, and Maria!!! And thanks to everyone else for all the love!!!

Home study! Home study!

I just scheduled our home study!!!! It's next Monday, and I'm pretty much so excited that I might not sleep until then!! This is all going so fast. Thank you, Lord!!!

This one's for those we love who are far away

Our apartment so far...

On getting closer and big changes

This week was so fun! We've been working on decorating our apartment like crazy, we bought a bed (like a real one with a frame and everything) and couches from craigslist, and we got a BUNCH of adoption stuff done too!!! I'm surprised to say that I've really enjoyed setting up our home. I feel like I'm finally learning my own likes and dislikes. I've been tackling it room by room and wall by wall, and it's so satisfying to be able to look at a wall and say "yeah, I really like that, I feel like it really captures my style!" Pictures of the whole apartment are coming soon for those of you who've requested them.

In other news, we heard this week that the Ethiopian government is making some changes to the way they process adoptions. There have been some reports recently that maybe not all of the children that have been adopted from Ethiopia were in fact orphans, and the Ethiopian government has responded swiftly and responsibly to address the issue. The changes, as I understand them, are as follows: every potential adoption will undergo an in-depth investigation to ensure that the child is indeed an orphan, AND prospective adoptive parents will now be required to travel twice to Ethiopia. Once to meet the child and attend a court hearing (which was previously attended by a representative for the parents), and a second time to pick up the child, receive the visa, and bring him or her home. All together this can add a few weeks to several months on to the process, and all right at the end, after the referral's been accepted. I have to say my only reaction right now, besides being relieved at the steps that are being taken in the name of ethical adoptions, is to say "Ok, we'll deal with it when we get there." It does represent an added expense, a logistical dilemma, and a potential emotional roller-coaster that we weren't planning on. I also know that God has been over-the-top faithful and encouraging to us in this whole adventure, and I'm finally learning what it feels like to just trust that He'll work it out just as it's supposed to be. And as my dad says, it won't just be A way for things to go, it'll be the BEST way! Oh, and by the way... did I mention I get to go to Ethiopia TWICE?!?!

As for this week's accomplishments (only read if you care to know every detail of my life!!!):

-Just yesterday we got our appointment to get fingerprinted for USCIS!!!! This is a milestone for me, cause I can remember reading on other people's blogs the day that they got that done, and it felt so far away in my mind, unreachable. Guess not, huh?!
-We each finished 8 out of the 10 hours of online training, and we're gonna do the other 2 tonight!
-We got back our FBI background check results (which was supposed to take like 11-13 weeks, but only took one!), well, one of us did anyway, my fingerprints had to be re-done, so I'm hoping for another one-week processing time!!!
-We sent off:
*our medical papers for our agency application and our foreign dossier
*Husband's new birth certificate
*passport-sized photos
*photocopies of our passports
*power of attorney papers
*proof of insurance
*AND most of our references are in!!! Thanks you guys!!!

We're getting more and more excited about our sweet sweet baby!!! Just in the daily stuff we do we have this ongoing conversation of how things will change; driving places, carrying groceries in, setting up the rooms in our apartment, and even just laying in our new bed talking. Everything's going to be different, more sweet. Can't wait to meet you babe, we miss you every day!!!

Here are some pictures of our fun picnic with friends!!!

Doro Wat and Injera

Friday night our friends and neighbors came over for dinner and I made Ethiopian food for the very first time!!!! YAY! And if I do say so myself it was pretty delish :)

The hard boiled eggs were a group effort. I have to say, they were surprisingly my favorite addition to the stew. Somehow they were the extra layer of flavor that really tied everything together.

The injera (made with for-reals Ethiopian Teff flour) was pretty good. It was a lot more whole-wheat tasting than I thought it would be, and maybe less spongy than it ought to be, but I liked it!

(Someone could have told me my hair was looking crazy)

Doro Wat is an Ethiopian spicy chicken stew. I think I might like it even a little more piccante next time, but it was real good!

so patient as I finish making dinner. I'll start earlier next time, I promise! :)

A is for Application

Y'all, I'm tired! "Why?" you ask, THIS is why:



My new best friend and dictator is my cute little gray filing cabinet and all the paperwork that lives in it. This week has possibly been the most productive week of my life. I've sent in:

**WARNING, LONG LIST FOR THE SAKE OF MEMORY, SKIP AHEAD UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW**
Requests for both of our birth certificates, marriage certificate (already received)
Group 1 documents for agency (including Application, copies of said certificates, directions to our house, some moula and other very important documents)
Some of our Group 2 documents (including our child preference profile and some other important documents)
FBI Clearance fingerprints
I-600A
The beginnings of our Foreign Dossier to authentication service
AND
I've initiated:
Reference letters
Bank statement
Employment Letters
AND
We each got our local drivers licenses
We've each had a physical and a bunch of vaccinations! (we're coming, baby :))
**RESUME READING, LIST FINISHED**

Can anyone else who's done this before validate me and say that they felt like they'd run a marathon every day during the paperwork months? Seriously, I'm kinda thinking that God had me go through nursing school/work as a nurse to build up my meticulous organizational skills and endurance for completing 'to do' lists. Mostly I really loves this, though. My personality enjoys this kind of work, and it's still exciting every time I have a new document to prepare because I know that it's one step closer to our baby!!!

Just to keep that happy thought in mind, here's a picture of everything we have for our baby so far:

It's mostly my old stuffed animals, and there's even a blanket that my mom made before she had any babies (Mom, if you were wondering, I took it home with me last visit :)). We've bought two little super-cute gender-neutral outfits because I needed something baby-shaped around here, and one of them says "universally cute;" my sister and I thought it was appropriate! Other than that, we'll probably wait till much closer to time to buy anything. We shouldn't spend the extra money, we don't know the details about our baby, and it's always a good idea to keep my emotions/expectations a little under control. At least that's what I'm saying tonight.... :)

Here's the blanket:

Swimming with friends!!!

Today some of my girlfriends came over and swam in our indoor pool with their sweet kids. We had so much fun!