The Measure of a Man

Him:

Three years ago I was in Memphis riding in the back seat of a car when somebody pointed to a passing hotel and stated "that's where Martin Luther King got shot." Most of what I learned about the man was taken in during my junior high years. I know at the time of his assassination he was 39, but if he was alive now he would be about the same age as my grandfather. I used to associate him with other leaders of the Civil Rights movement like Malcolm-X, but even as a boy I knew there was something different about Dr.King.

As I've gotten older and walked with Jesus longer it becomes more and more important to me to be used by God during my very short life. So I've been asking the question: what happens when the choice is presented between saving your own skin and being courageous enough to really live? Will I choose to do what is hard? What will spur me to do so? Who has done it before me? So I started looking for people like this; I started reading about people like Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Joni Eareckson Tada, Nate Saint, etc......and Martin Luther King Jr.

"MLK loved Jesus?!" is a question that someone exclaimed to me in the last month. Yes!!! The problem is the history we have on the guy is all told in backwards order, and all the facts are separated. What kids learn about him today is 1st I get out of school for his holiday, 2nd there are tons of things named after him and he gave a speech called "I have a dream", 3rd he was the leading face of the Civil Rights Movement using non-violent protests against discrimination and won the Nobel Peace Prize for it, 4th when digging deep you can find he was an adulterer and sinner, 5th you might hear that he was a preacher, and Lastly if you're lucky you might deduce from all of this that MLK loved Jesus. There are many books about this guy with all the facts I just stated, but none that I've found that put the pieces together.

On the other side, a high school kid proclaimed to me last week "Hitler was a christian", which is a conclusion he had jumped to simply because Hitler had quoted scripture, Luther, and had started up under the banner of the German church by manipulation. It's sad to have the facts backwards because then we lose the root of the life or death that is flowing out of people. Death flowed out of Hitler because his priority was self. Life flowed out of King because he loved Jesus, got alone with Him, got vision from Him, and then could not let fear overcome the life that the living God was offering. So he became a preacher, and said true things that no one else would say, and put his life on the line, and became the face of a movement for freedom, and was martyred and has things named after him now.

All this stuff gets twisted up because it's easy to see he was a sinner, and it's easy to say his methods were just different from a guy like Malcolm-X, and it's easy to think that he was just concerned about changing society; but that's not how you measure a man. He helped bring life to a dead culture, and was heroic, because he was a missionary, because he loved Jesus. Loving Jesus is the measure of a man because it makes him justified and changes his bent toward God and away from self. I watched "Fiddler on the Roof" for the first time last week and fell in love with the main character Tevye, as he talked with God and tried to figure out which was more important: tradition in a Jewish community or love. In the end, when his youngest daughter has just done the forbidden by marrying a Gentile, Tevye breaks and mumbles "May God bless you" to the surprise of all. He just can't help it. There are real people in history and all across the world today who are doing the scary, hard, and dangerous things because they love Jesus and walk closely with Him, and I need to know they exist so I can know it's OK to be courageous and let God use me.

Where I've Been

Last week I went to Young Lives Camp at Lake Champion with 5 girls, 3 babies, 2 other mentors, and a volunteer driver! It was AWESOME!!! Young Lives is an outreach ministry to teen mothers that I have the honor to be a part of. We dive into these girls lives, try to love on them the way that God has loved us, and eventually we have the opportunity to tell them all about how much God loves them, and what Jesus has done to restore them to Himself. It's crazy fun!!! Camp is an opportunity to get these young mamas away from day to day life, have them try new things, and lay out the gospel for them to consider in as simple a way as possible. It's super intense, it's super special, and I'm completely thankful to be a part of it!!

Next week... Vacation week with the fam!!!

Daddy

The boy who never wanted to grow up ended up doing so by choice in the end. When he was in his forties his nemesis kidnapped his children and took them to a place that Peter couldn't remember. Not only didn't he remember where it was, but he forgot that he himself was from there; that it was a timeless place with timeless people and endless adventure. None of the lost boys or pirates understood why anyone would have wanted to leave Neverland in the first place, all wondering what would make the boy that defined it depart. And when Peter finally went back to Neverland he forgot about his present life and started to wonder the same thing... Until one day, standing in a hideout carved out of the inside of a tree, holding an old teddy bear, he finally remembered: Peter Pan left Neverland and grew up...because he wanted to have a kid; his son was his happy thought.

I didn't get to choose to grow up. Most of my life, and even in moments of forgetfulness now, I haven't wanted to. I have gray hairs now, past my physical prime... soon to purchase an ear and nose hair trimmer. But if I had chosen to grow up, like Peter chose, I think it would have been good to settle on the same reason. Of course I have gained so much in growing up: a relationship with the Living God, a marriage with my favorite person, true friends; happy thoughts. So why, as everyone should probably ask themselves if considering doing so, should I have a kid?

A kid will not fulfill my life. I have no false notions that I will be the perfect dad, able to raise a family without mistakes. They will not be able to make up for my sinful habits, or shortcomings, or be a better version of me. In fact, they will probably be a lot like me. They will have sin: pride, lust, jealousy, doubt, etc. I can never make them believe anything, or will their adult life to be a certain way. The world might chew them up and spit them out.

I think that there must be a goal for having a kid; something to say about it other than "that's just what you do." The seemingly bad news that they and I will not be perfect is also the good news that they and I don't have to be perfect. I hope I can remember that when they do something that I'm pridefully appalled by, and I hope they can remember the same when I do a bad job of being a dad and have to go to them and ask forgiveness. I want my kid to be themselves, limits coming into play at hitting people, lying, playing with hand guns, snorting cocaine, etc. I want them to know Jesus, because I want them to have life and be their true selves. Frustratingly enough, I can't force any of this. I can create rules and habits, of which there will be a few, but in the end they will be the man or woman they choose to be. So here is all I can do: love them... visibly... unconditionally, when they've gone past the limits. I have the task of painting them a picture of what their Heavenly Father is like, so they might know Him and live. That's why I'm going to have a kid: to love them well. So they can know that they are my happy thought. Simple.

Addicted

So for the last six days I have been a bachelor. Although, this time around it was not nearly as fun. My wife went out of town, but it wasn't anything like what I remember single life being. I once was a proud and independent young man. Of course back before I met her I lived with my best friends in a house that was always awake. I loved that time of my life but I always, even growing up, felt a little bit lonely to be just a bachelor. I know that Paul said it is better to not marry if you can but, if I'm honest, I don't think I was built for that.

I was 20 and perfectly content with my life, not feeling that I would care if I ever got married, and then SHE came along. She was sweet, cute, unashamedly wore her heart on her sleave, and could often just be a wreck. I liked her. So, to shorten things a bit, we got married and I love our marriage! So, she goes out of town for almost a week and I become a bored and much less useful man... How did that happen?!

Three months ago my grandmother died and a couple of weeks ago her husband followed. After she was gone he felt like he didn't have a purpose in life, so this perfectly healthy older man got shingles and died in his sleep a couple of nights later. It's amazing to hear of people dying of a broken heart. There have been books written on it by doctors and scientists. You should look it up. A woman will die on what would have been her husband's birthday or their anniversary.

My marriage changes me. I do things because I'm married that I would not do if I was single. When my wife leaves town I slump into withdrawal. I think it is safe to say that I'm addicted to my wife. So let's answer this question: is it OK to be addicted? Well, my marriage and my wife are certainly not sufficient to fill up my life. That infinite hole calls for an infinite God. If my wife were to die I would still have purpose, would still want people to know this God that fills me up.

Marriage was not created to fill me up, but to be a picture. The way I love my wife is supposed to be a picture to her of how Jesus loves her, and her job is to be my treasure. Our relationship is a little glimpse of the great love affair between God and us. He loves us and we are his treasure. So this is what I have decided while I've been writing this: I need to be more girlie. I need to know that my purpose in life is to be the Groom's treasure. So when my wife leaves for a day, or a week, or for good, my addiction will not get the best of me, even if I'm not willing to seek treatment.

Favorite Song: Please, Before I Go by Derek Webb
Favorite Food: Salad
Favorite place to practice dance moves: the kitchen (socks are helpful)